


Mr. Spaceman

by iconicprince, iconicprincebutnsfw (iconicprince)



Category: IT (Movies - Muschietti), IT - Stephen King
Genre: Alien Abduction, Alien Biology, Alien Cultural Differences, Alien Eddie Kaspbrak, Alien Sex, Aliens Made Them Do It, Alternate Universe - Aliens, Alternate Universe - No Pennywise (IT), Fuck Or Die, M/M, Mildly Dubious Consent, Oviposition, Porn With Plot, Tentacle Sex, Tentacles, Trans Male Character, Trans Male Richie Tozier, Trans Richie Tozier, Xenophilia
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-07-30
Updated: 2020-08-17
Packaged: 2021-03-06 01:35:23
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 6,283
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25615210
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/iconicprince/pseuds/iconicprince, https://archiveofourown.org/users/iconicprince/pseuds/iconicprincebutnsfw
Summary: Richie gets abducted classic Grey style by a group of aliens to help populate another kind of aliens.
Relationships: Eddie Kaspbrak/Richie Tozier
Comments: 10
Kudos: 60





	1. Hey Mister Spaceman,

When he’d gone to bed that night, he’d been dead on his feet. Exhausted from standing all day, networking and then performing. He didn’t even need to take anything like he usually did, just laid his head on the pillow and passed out. He’d expected to wake up to the sound of his alarm and birds. Instead, there was a loud buzzing, and bright light.

He tried to turn over, hide his face in a pillow, but he was unable to feel anything. In fact, He couldn’t even feel the bed beneath him.

_ Ok. Weird dream. _

He opened his eyes. The light was almost blinding, but he adjusted quickly. He was floating in the air, above his house. He could see his pool, the lawn flamingos that he’d lewdly positioned, and the birdbath Stan gifted him in their senior year of college. His whole neighborhood was dark, and the light he was surrounded by wasn’t coming from anywhere he could see. He turned, looking up, but could only see the light. 

_ Yup. That’s where it’s coming from. _

He turned back away, not wanting to continue blinding himself. He watched the street below get further and further away, the street lights flickering.

He felt a sudden change in temperature, warmer but less humid. A floor materialized beneath him and he fell several feet, landing on his front. He scrambled to stand, clumsily getting himself upright.

Surrounding him stood several tall figures. As his eyes focused, as much as they could without his glasses, he realized they weren’t _ human _ . They had pale grey-green skin, and giant, bug-like eyes. They were all eight feet tall or more, towering over him.

They looked like classic Roswell aliens.

He blinked, trying to focus, to see something real. The aliens were still there, and one was getting closer, with  _ things  _ in its hands.

He was so thoroughly shocked that he only flinched when it restrained him with a device reminiscent of handcuffs. It then ran a device across his body that beeped and turned blue. He could hear them speaking to each other, but the language sounded garbled,  _ alien _ . He wasn’t even sure he could make some of the sounds they were.

The one in front of him called over another, and they pushed his shoulders, He started walking, and they guided him out of the large circular room he was in, into a corridor. He passed many rooms, and through the windows on the doors, he could see that the rooms appeared to be labs. 

He was stopped in front of one of the lab doors. There was a small keypad next to the door, and one of the aliens tapped in some numbers. The door hissed, sliding into the wall. The room was cramped, with a large metal table in the center.

He walked over to it, guessing exactly what was about to happen. They were gonna strap him down, then poke and prod him for, what? Better understanding of Earth’s species? Just for shits and giggles? They must have been experimenting on humans for decades, since the late 1800’s at least, when they were first depicted on Earth.

His mom was fucking right. Aliens were real.  _ I will never doubt you again, Mags. _ He told himself as they laid him onto the slab and pulled restraints across his forehead, chest, and torso, separately cataloging his limbs.

Then they left. He was alone for an agonizing several minutes, only the hum of the ship keeping him company. There was a port window that he’d glimpsed on the wall, but he couldn’t see it from where he was laying, couldn’t move his head enough. He was still wriggling when he heard the door slide open again.

He could hear two sets of footprints and a weird squelching noise from the approaching aliens. He felt someone else being laid down on his left.

“Woof. Sucks to be us, huh?”

The person next to him didn’t reply.

“Y’alright over there?” He tried to turn, to see anything of his new companion, but one of the aliens came up to him, placing goggles on his eyes. They were completely dark, he couldn’t see anything.

He felt a quick sting in his right bicep, reminding him of a vaccine. His shirt was, surprisingly, gently moved up. Some small devices were placed across his face, neck, and chest.

After lots of beeping and flashing a poking and prodding, the goggles were removed, and the aliens left the room. The restraints unlocked themselves.

He rolled off the table, rubbing feeling back into his tingly limbs. When he stood up, he was faced with a different kind of alien. It had blue skin, and many limbs.

It was staring back at him. It’s face was featureless, save for it’s eyes, which took up more than half its face.

“Uh… Hi?”

The creature waved a tentacle back at him.

“You- you can understand me?” He felt breathless, confused and way, way out of his depth.

It nodded, pointing toward a device on its neck. It looked worn down, like it had been broken and then hastily put back together.

“A translator?”

_ Yes _ .

“Can I see?”

_ Yes. _

Richie stepped around the table, approaching the stranger. It had also been tested on, so it couldn’t have malicious intent, right?

The alien fiddled with the buttons, as best as it could with prehensile tentacles. The little screen lit up, showing words in perfect English.

“Oh-what the fuck?” He whispered to himself, reading what the alien had to say.

_ This translator allows for real time translation of any language registered by The Council. Several human languages have been added recently. My translator is not fully functional. It does not translate my words aloud, as it should. _

“Can you fix it?”

_ I am incapable of removing the device from myself. _

Richie looked at the back, seeing a fairly simple belt clasp keeping it on. Not so simple for this alien, though.

_ I have the tools necessary to fix it. _

“Okay. Can I remove it for you, then?”

_ Yes. _

Richie’s hands shook a bit as he fumbled with the metal. He held up the ends of the leather(?), letting it drop into the alien’s grasp.

It quickly got to work, pulling what looked like a screwdriver from its toolbelt. The inside looked far more complicated than the average computer, wires criss-crossing over illuminated circuit boards. Within minutes, it had checked through everything, finding the problem and rewiring it. Then it placed it back around its neck, and Richie reclasped it.

“Better?”

“Yes, thank you.” The voice was masculine and smooth.

“So, uh… I’m Richie, what’s your name?”

The alien made an almost incomprehensible sound. The only thing Richie heard was “-edi-”

“I don’t think my mouth and vocal chords can do that. Can I call you Eddie for short?”

“‘Eddie’? Hm. Our languages  _ are _ very different. It is understandable that you cannot replicate my name with your limiting form. That is acceptable.”

“So, to me, you sound like a guy, but I don’t wanna be wrong so… What pronouns do you use?”

“I am a male.”

“That’s not what I asked.”

“I do not understand.”

“Where I’m from, sex isn’t the same as gender, so like my friend Sandy? She was assigned male at birth but she’s a woman. And Kay? They’re not really a man or a woman. They’re just… Kay.”

“And you are…?”

“I’m a guy. He, him, and his only.”

“I am the same then. A ’guy’.”

“God, you don’t sound like a robot but you sure talk like one.”

“Why would I sound like a robot?” He cutely tilted his head.

“Uh, like. Because it’s a fake voice comin’ out of the device? I expected that the words pre-set into it wouldn’t flow together the way they do.”

“Every possible combination of phrases is able to be accessed by this device.”

“Oh. Cool. So, what am I doing here? Or- what are  _ we _ doing here?”

Eddie’s skin rapidly shifted through several patterns.  _ Maybe he’s blushing? _

Richie looked around, confused. “What?”

“My species, I believe you would call us Octopodiformes? We are similar to the Cephalopods you have on Earth. They originally came from my home planet.”

Richie took a moment to absorb the fact that squids and cuttlefish and octopuses were all aliens.

“The Reticulans control my planet. My species, and several others from my planet, are enslaved as laborers for their intergalactic war. They need a quick and easy way for us to reproduce. Success rates between members of my species are below twenty percent, while other species exceed fifty. Humans, so far, have the best incubation rate.”

“Excuse me, what?”

He awkwardly wrung his front tentacles together, like a nervous habit.

“Eddie, please don’t tell me what I think you’re telling me.”

“I will not lie to you. They intend for us to copulate. Soon.”

Richie groaned, pulling at his hair.

“I do not understand your frustration. Could you please explain why this distresses you so much?”

“Because I’m a dude! Guys don’t get pregnant and give birth!”

“They assessed your organs. You are young and fertile. Do you not intend to procreate in your life?”

“No! Oh my God! The idea makes me want to die!”

Eddie stared at him blankly

“I think I’m having a panic attack.” He said through a rasping breath. He was hyperventilating. This couldn’t be happening. No way.  He tried to focus on just how fucked up the aliens were instead of what they intended to do to him. “Not only do they not respect consent, they’re transphobic too.”

“They are afraid of ‘trans’? What does that mean?”

“Transphobia doesn't mean fear, it’s discrimination. I’m transgender. I  _ trans _ itioned from female to male. Women have kids. I’m a man. They want to force me, a man, to carry a child to term. That’s disrespectful to my gender, and just to me as a person.”

“Not  _ a child _ . Many children.”

“Oh, well that makes it better!”

“It-It does?”

“Wh-no! That was sarcasm.”

Eddie paused for a moment. “My species does not give live birth. Neither will you. You will simply carry the eggs until they are ready to grow on their own.”

“Oh.”

“Is that… worse or better?”

“That’s actually better… I think? How long?”

“Approximately one Earth lunar cycle.”

“Only a month? Okay.” 

The situation was still far from ideal, his consent was still being stripped from him, but so was Eddie’s.

“I’m gonna be a father, but I’m not even gonna get to meet my kids? I’m not gonna get to watch them grow up because they’ll be enslaved? What if I refuse.” He crossed his arms, stepping back from Eddie and looking up at the ceiling where he figured there might be cameras.

“You can’t back out now. They’ve already given us injections. We either do what they ask, or die.”

“Injections? How would they make us- you know.” Richie made several lewd gestures.

“They include chemicals that induce a mating response in our respective bodies. They will cause us to willingly copulate.”

“I’d already willingly copulate,” Richie whispered to himself.

“What?!” Eddie blushed again.

“I dunno, us humans are pretty freaky. You’re hot.”

“In comparison, I believe I am actually much colder than you. What does my temperature have to do with anything?”

“No, hot as in attractive,” Eddie didn’t respond, just phased through more patterns. “You’re cute!”

“Stop it! I am  _ not _ !”

“Yes you are! Cute, cute, cute!” Richie reached up to pinch Eddie’s cheek, but he batted him away.

Richie dropped the subject, and they were both quiet for a moment.

“Fuck, is it getting warmer in here?” Richie fanned at his face.

“No. You are very flushed, though.” He gaped at Eddie for a moment, then started unbuttoning his shirt. “Oh. You are removing your clothing.”

“Yeah these ‘jammies are flannel.”

“That sentence meant nothing to me”

“Uh, ok wait... My sleepclothes are... made from an insulating material?”

“Ah. They look very ‘cozy’”

“Yeah, my mom got them for me last year for christmas-” Eddie gave him a blank look. “It’s a really big holiday where I'm from, you go to your family or friends and exchange gifts around a decorated tree in honor of the birth of a religious figure.”

“That sounds pleasant. We do not have holidays on my planet. No breaks, no vacations. Only serving the galactic army.”

“Uh- that fucking sucks... What do you do?”

“I am a soldier, but mostly I repair ships.”

“Do you enjoy that?”

“It is my job”

“No but like. Okay, I’m a comedian- an entertainer. People pay me to make them laugh. I like it, it means I'm helping people feel a little better in their lives.”

“You... chose to do that?”

“Yeah! I mean I had to choose when I was basically still a kid, but it was  _ my _ choice. If you could choose any job, what would it be?”

“I am good at repair.”

“Okay… but do you like it?”

“I... don’t know.”

“Think about it.” Richie placed his arm on what he assumed was Eddie's shoulder, patting him a couple times.

“Do all humans touch each other this much?”

“Yeah, or I guess, we all want to. Sometimes we put a lot of distance between ourselves but it’s kinda pointless, we’re all touchstarved anyway.”

“Where I am from, contact is forbidden outside of copulation.”

“Do you like being touched?”

“I did not value it before now, but I think I understand why you like it so much.”

“Can I-?” Richie didn’t know what he was asking. Eddie had no visible mouth.  _ Did his species even kiss? _

Eddie nodded, moving forward and caressing Richie’s cheek, his chin, his neck.

Richie tried to reciprocate as best he could. He turned toward the tentacle on his face, gently kissing it.

“What are you doing?”

“It's a kiss.”

“So you are not trying to eat me?”

“Wha-” richie burst into laughter. “No! We have a ton of nerve endings in our lips, a kiss is a way to show another person you love them through a physical act.”

“Love?”

“And also during sex, even if you’re strangers.” Richie tacked on quickly, looking everywhere but Eddie's huge, sad eyes.

“You procreate with strangers? Like this?”

“No, we-uh. It’s casual, for fun. Procreation is heavily avoided during most sex, usually. We even have lots of kinds of birth control, although it’s pretty hard to get.”

“You have sex so often that you have products intended to stop birth? Aliens are weird.”

Richie shrugged. “It feels nice, people like feeling good.  _ I  _ like feeling good.”

“So this would be better if you felt good? You want to enjoy this?”

“As much as I can, I guess.”

“Then tell me if this feels good.” Eddie reached into his waistband, pulling his briefs down. He nudged Richie’s legs apart, rubbing at his entrance.

“Yeah, that’s nice.” Richie breathed, bracing himself against Eddie's solid frame.

“Good.” Eddie continued, brushing against Richie’s cock every so often. His legs began to shake from the effort of trying to stand.

Eddie picked him up easily, which made him grow even more aroused. He whined.

“It’s okay. I’ve got you.” Eddie whispered in his ear. He could hear Eddie's  _ real _ voice underneath the modifier; indescribable, alien, beautiful. Eddie was touching him so softly; his face, arms, and legs.

“God, your skin is like, really soft.”

“Oh. Um- thank you?”

“It’s nice. I'm used to rougher partners, tough skin and coarse hair and stuff. It's a good change.”

“I’m glad you find me a satisfactory partner”

“More like… extraterrestrial.”

Eddie looked up at him for a moment, then made a strange gurgling sound.

“Was- was that your laugh?”

Eddie paused, his eyes seemed even wider, something he hadn’t thought was possible.

“It was cute. I liked it” he smiled at Eddie, reaching up and touching his face.

Eddie placed a tentacle over richies hand, making Richie only smile wider. T

The moment was interrupted by Richie’s body, throbbing with want. “Please”

Eddie seemed to know exactly what Richie wanted, finally sliding inside.

“Haah. Fuck. Big.”

It was a unique sensation, twisting and curving inside of him.

“Wow. Good.”

“Can you talk in full sentences anymore?”

“If I think. Really hard. Yeah”

“That is cute.”

“‘s good. Fuck, Eddie.”

“Are you ready?”

“Am I-? For what? Aren’t we already-?”

“This is one of my limbs. You really are not paying attention.”

Richie took a breath. “What am I supposed to be getting ready for?”

“first i will place the eggs inside of you. I was given the clutch earlier. I will then fertilize them within you. A cycle will pass, where you will be monitored, then you will lay the eggs and go back home.”

“This’ so fucked up.” He blinked a couple times. “Go ahead.”

Eddie withdrew from inside him, immediately replacing it with a larger appendage, further within him than he’d ever been fucked before. He felt it touching his cervix, an uncomfortable but not unwelcome sensation.

“Fuck! ‘hoh my God. Wow.”

“Ready?”

He nodded. “Yes.”

He felt a spherical bump move through Eddie’s  _ whatever _ , through his hole before it breached his womb.

“Was that okay?”

“Yeah.”

“More?”

“Mhm.” Richie opened his eyes, watching Eddie's face. He looked determined, focused.

Another egg moved inside of him, then another, and another. He quickly lost track, after maybe the tenth settled inside him.

He wouldn’t call it fucking, not in the traditional sense, and it definitely wasn’t  _ making love _ . Procreation was the most fitting term, but it still felt uncomfortable to richie, who associated his sex organs with womanhood, with motherhood.

He knew plenty of trans men had given birth, but he just couldn’t get over that mental block, that direct connection between pregnancy and being a woman. 

But this, this was different. He wasn’t going to be pregnant, and it wasn’t even going to be with  _ his  _ eggs. They were alien eggs being inseminated by an alien. He was just a- a host. Somehow that was more comforting of a thought than calling himself pregnant. At least these eggs wouldn’t be using his body to grow. Somehow this felt  _ less  _ parasitic than a human baby.

He felt full, possibly overfilled. It brought him out of his thoughts.

“Done?”

“We are nowhere near.”

“How am I supposed to fit any more?”

“You will.”

Eddie didn’t elaborate, just kept pushing more eggs into him. It was uncomfortable now, so he tried to focus on getting himself off.

He reached down, rubbing at his dick. He leaned his head into Eddie’s body, shutting his eyes and concentrating on his pleasure.

It worked, the buildup to orgasm kept him from feeling himself being stretched to impossible limits. Human babies grew slowly, and while the eggs were probably less than an inch diameter, they added up quickly.

He thought he could feel his organs being forced out of the way, trying to accomodate the lack of space. He looked down, and saw his abdomen protruding.

“How many more?” He gasped.

“Almost done.”

Richie moaned, trying to catch his breath. He watched Eddie’s  _ dick? what does he call it?  _ pump more and more eggs inside of him. Just when the pain was unbearable enough to try to tap out, Eddie stopped.

“Do not let any out. Now that they are within you, they must be fertilized. If they are released before they are ready, they may die.”

“Don’t lay them before they’re ready or I’ll kill our kids. Got it.”

Eddie paused, looking at Richie strangely.

“What?”

“Nothing.”

He slipped out the egg-laying-member, quickly replacing it with a thicker, textured, more dick-like tentacle.

He laid Richie down onto the metal table, actually fucking him this time. One of his limbs reached around Richie’s torso, two more held out his legs, while a fourth was lazily stroking and rubbing his sensitive dick. He was trembling, overstimulated. His mind was nearly blank, only focused on Eddie.

“M’ gonna come.” He slurred, dragging his fingers along the tentacle that was wrapped around his chest.

Eddie sped up, chasing Richie’s pleasure and his own.

He came, releasing thick fluid into the space between the eggs, fertilizing them. His stomach felt stretched even more, but he couldn’t bring himself to care. He’d just had some of the best, hottest sex in his life.

Eddie slipped out one last time, breathing deep, shaky breaths.

“Wow. That was the best alien sex I have ever had.”

“But- That was the only alien sex you’ve had?”

“Yeah. And it was the best.” He tried to sit up, but Eddie pushed him back down.

“You have to lay there for a while, to make sure all the eggs get fertilized. You can’t let any of my sperm drip out.”

Richie shuddered, turned on by the thought.

“You want to have _more_ sex?” Eddie looked at him like he was crazy.

“I don’t  _ have  _ to go again. I just- I could.”

“Are all humans as insatiable as you? Or are you just special?”

“Little bit of both, I think,” He smiled.

Eddie laid down next to him, tangling his limbs with Richie’s. A protective tentacle sat over his abdomen, gently touching the area, almost hovering.

“We’re gonna be parents. But we’re never gonna get to meet our kids.” He thought aloud.

“We are never going to see  _ each other  _ after this is over. And it’s different. You only have a handful of offspring. Do you really think we could raise our whole clutch? There’s probably two, three hundred eggs. Even if there’s a low success rate, that’s still dozens of children to care for. It’s completely unrealistic. We’re capable of taking care of ourselves right after hatching.”

“Oh. I- sorry. I didn’t think about it like that. I just-” He felt tears gather behind his eyes. But he couldn’t cry in front of Eddie, in front of the other aliens observing them. “I’m just sad that they’re never gonna know me. Or you. Or that I won’t get to stay with you.”

“You would want that? To stay with me?”

He nodded, curling his body closer to Eddie’s. He placed his own hand onto the slight bulge on his stomach. He felt a surge of a parental instinct to protect, to nurture, to care. _These are gonna be the healthiest human-incubated alien-octopus-babies in the galaxy._


	2. Won't You Please Take Me Along

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> cw for space fascism, xenophobia, hinted dysphoria

A light was shining in his eye, moving. He blinked, trying to focus on something. After a moment, it vanished, replaced by a man’s face. He was staring at Richie intently.

“Uh. Hi?” His voice came out raspy and thick.

“He’s awake.” The man called out, facing off to the side.

He wanted to get up, to ask what was going on and where he was, when he was lifted off the ground. He was floating? No, he was being carried on a stretcher, and several individuals were transporting him. 

“Hi.” He meant to wave, but his arm was strapped down, along with the rest of his body. 

_ What happened? _

Memories from the previous night came to him in flashes. A gentle voice, pale blue, a feeling of fullness and satisfaction.

He was set down inside an ambulance, and he answered many questions without really thinking, trying to remember… something important.

At the hospital, they asked more of the same questions. No I’m not on drugs, no I don’t know how I got there, yes I can sign your copy of my shitty movie. He was already a walking experiment for the aliens, he didn’t need to be poked and prodded anymore. Even though some of the prodding has been good.

He just wanted to get out of there. He didn’t need anyone discovering he was harboring alien babies inside his body. What were the citizenship laws for literal illegal aliens? If they were born on US soil, would they be Terrestrial or Intergalactic citizens?

He just wanted to sleep in his own bed for a month. He didn’t have his phone or wallet or keys, he was in his fucking pajamas.

Stan was waiting outside in his car anyway. He didn’t ask any questions, just looked at Richie for a long moment, then drove him home.

He did sleep for a while, waking up to darkness outside. He finally looked at his phone. Half past eleven. He’d slept for almost twelve hours. His phone was filled with notifications. Concerned messages from his friends and parents, several angry ones from his agent.

He immediately got to work, responding to everyone with half-assed excuses and apologies. He had to apparently explain to the world that no, in fact, he wasn’t on a drug bender that led him to pass out in the center of a fucking crop circle.

He turned it into a publicity stunt, basing his new act around aliens. Write what you know, right? All he had to do was mention a couple of historical experiences, relay his own modified version, as a dream, and then turn it into a joke. Easy peasy.

Turned out, not so easy, especially with a whole clutch of eggs making themselves known inside him. As time passed, he had less and less space inside him to dedicate to his own organs. His wardrobe consisted entirely of extra large t-shirts, hiding his torso from the prying eyes of hollywood and the world. Eventually he couldn’t leave the house, his abdomen visibly protruding an uncomfortable amount. He couldn’t look at himself in a mirror; he couldn’t look down at his stomach. 

He kept to his word, maintaining a healthy diet and exercise routine. He tried to keep to a routine. He didn’t have any morning sickness, just some mild fatigue and what he assumed was bloating. He was more careful with his body, tried to be less clumsy.

Things were almost normal, except he kept yearning for Eddie. For his touch, his gaze, his protection. When he’d fallen asleep with him, he’d felt the safest in his life.

He was more attracted to an alien in a one night stand than any of the guys he’d dated. What pathetic irony on the universe’s part.

He needed a plan. He started brainstorming. Trying to think of ways to get Eddie out. Or to stay with him. He could always beg to be taken with Eddie, kept as an exotic pet. When they spoke, it  _ seemed _ like Eddie felt the same, that he wanted to stay with Richie just as much as Richie wanted to stay with him.

Nearly a month later, the same pale green light flooded his room. He opened the window and let himself float up in the beam. 

The ship looked the same, and so did the uniformed aliens that escorted him off to a laboratory. There were trays everywhere, presumably for further incubation.

Disappointingly, Eddie wasn’t present. He tried to ask for him, but no one acknowledged him, just stripped him and strapped him into a device that was ominously reminiscent of a gynecology chair. His legs were secured in stirrups and his arms were stuck at his sides.

Someone approached him and wiped a small damp cloth over his bicep, followed by a quick sting.

There were lots of noises around him, chittering and banging. He ignored it, focusing on breathing techniques he’d studied.

His body began to move on its own,  _ contractions _ , the eggs shifting inside of him.

An alien like Eddie, in a different uniform, sat at the end of the table, tentacled limbs cupped at his entrance to catch the eggs.

The first egg traveled back out. He barely needed to push, a month of growth made them far larger, but it was still small enough to move through him fairly easily. It landed in the midwife’s curled grip, moving somewhere outside his field of vision.

The next one started, and he tried to calm himself, not thinking about just how many more had to go.

Mostly, he didn’t want to panic or cry. He felt humiliated, but he didn’t have to show it. Especially if Eddie could see, which he hoped, but doubted.

Time passed like liquid around him, flowing within him strangely. The process seemed excruciatingly slow and surprisingly fast. He thought he heard screaming, but chalked it up to his imagination.

Toward the end, the alien midwife reached inside of him, using the suckers on its limb to individually remove the last twenty or so eggs.

When it was finally done, he slumped over in the chair. He didn’t know how long he was laying there, just that it was a while. He felt unfocused, drifting in and out.

Tears dripped off his face.

He was startled when something gripped his hand. He looked over and saw Eddie. _ I must be dreaming. He said we’d never see each other again. _

“Why are you leaking?” He sounded concerned

“‘m crying.”

“What is that?

“Hurts. Too much.”

“I do not understand.”

“Sorry.” He turned away, not wanting to make himself more upset from what he was sure was a hallucination.

“You did a great job.”

“Thanks,” He breathed.

“I am here. You’re okay now.”

Richie smiled, exhausted and on some kind of medicinal high.

“The drugs will wear off soon. Then I will escort you back to my quarters.”

“Huh?”

“They have decided to let me keep you.” Eddie sounded hopeful.

“Oh.”

He wasn’t sure what to say or even think. Eddie slowly and carefully removed the straps, freeing him, though he could barely move.

A sheet was laid over him, then Eddie picked him up in his strong limbs, carrying him bridal style. He felt useless and weak, drifting out of consciousness.

When he woke, he was laying in a shallow pool. Water lapped at his skin. His whole body was aching. 

Eddie was curled around his side, spooning him, as much as a humanoid octopus could. The room they were in was small, with one overhead light, a desk, and a door.

“You are awake.” Eddie was caressing him everywhere he could reach.

He grunted in response, his mouth and mind heavy, not ready to form words.

One of Eddie’s limbs slithered down his front, circling his core.

“You did this, before, to yourself.”

He moaned, shifting his hips. Eddie teasingly pulled the tentacle away.

“You are not ready for that yet.” His voice was almost mocking, but with enough concern behind it that it had to be genuine.

He felt frustrated, turned on and played with. Without meaning to, he whined.

Eddie stopped. “I love the sounds you make. They are so cute.”

He finally touched him, and he gasped, tilting his head back. “Fuck.”

Eddie continued, exploring different parts of his body. He sunk into the feeling. It was nice to just be touched for the sake of it, no strings attached.

He held onto Eddie’s- _back?_ _Really gotta learn his anatomy._

He came so hard his ears rang.

“Wow.” He rasped. “That was- wow.”

Eddie nodded. “We have several errands to attend to. Paperwork to fill out together. You will accompany me around the ship.”

“Really?”

“Yes. We must register you in our galaxy’s system as a citizen, as well as get the license for our coupling.”

“Oh.”  _ Does he mean marriage? Alien marriage? _

“In several hours, we will be registered mates. You should know, it is uncommon for members of my species to pair-bond, but not impossible. Since our initial meeting, I have found myself drawn to you. The short cycle we were apart was agonizing. I felt like I had found a piece of myself in you, and it hurt for it to go missing again.”

“Eds.” He turned, carefully, cupping Eddie’s face in his hands.

“That is not my name.”

Richie smiled fondly, gently touching his soon-to-be mate.

“What are you doing?”

“Admiring your handsome face.” Eddie’s skin rippled.

“Why do you say things like that?”

“I think it, and I mean it, so I say it.”

“I rarely say what I think.”

“Try it.” Richie shrugged.

“Hm. I will require time to think.”

Richie waited patiently.

“Your eyes sparkle. It makes my heart rate increase.”

“You make my heart race too.” He guided one of Eddie’s limbs toward his chest, right over his heart, where it was, as promised, beating quickly.

“I am grateful for the opportunity to have a family with you.”

“Yeah.” Richie thought about his parents, his friends and their children.

“You do not seem happy. What is wrong?”

“I’m just- I’m gonna miss my parents, my friends.””

“You currently have a family.” It was a revelation.

“Yeah. Almost every human does. We talked about it.”

“I am taking you from your family?”

“I mean, I wouldn’t phrase it like that. More like, I’m leaving my family to be with you.”

Eddie got up, disturbing the calm water. “I am hurting you.”

“What? No.” He tried to stand up and follow Eddie, but he was too sore. He could barely sit. He watched Eddie glide across the room.  _ Is he… pacing? _

“I did not think about our differences. I acted selfishly, and now you are trapped with me.”

“I’m not trapped.”

“Yes. You are. I am a prisoner to the galaxy, and you are now imprisoned with me.”

“We don’t have to be.”

“What?”

“We don’t have to be prisoners.”

“That is nonsense.”

“Eddie, listen to me. You don’t have to stay here. Are there neutral areas? Places that allow, I dunno, intermingling of species?”

“I-” He turned back to face Richie. “Maybe.”

“Maybe?”

“Correct. There is  _ a chance _ that several planets and stations exist where the Reticulan Army does not hold power. But that is- it’s blasphemous.”

“Why? You aren’t a- a Reticulan. You’re essentially a slave, and by helping them, you allow them to continue to enslave others. Not that I’m blaming you or anyone else, it’s all you know, I don’t blame you. But you don’t have to accept it. We can find somewhere that is good for us both.”

“Richie.” He shook his head.

“No. It’s fucked up! You’re just as much a person as they are, why do they get to control everything! Space imperialism? That doesn’t include humans? We haven’t even worked out Earth imperialism, let us have some galactic war.”

“Richie!”

The door opened. Several guards marched into the room. They grabbed Richie, putting him in fancy handcuffs.

“Fuck me.” He whispered to himself.

Eddie spoke in a different language with one of the guards, aggressively gesturing with two of his tentacles.

They left the room, practically dragging Richie through several winding hallways. He turned his head, trying to catch Eddie’s attention, but he was looking down, wringing his limbs together.

They entered into a large room. At a table sat a handful of individuals, all from different species.

The Reticulan in the center stood. “Richard Tozier. Human 5269.”

He snorted.

“You seek to represent the human population?”

“Uh? No. I’m not qualified for that.”

“Yet you dare to question our society.”

“Questioning the society you live in is healthy. That way you don’t end up ruled by fascists.”

“Fah-shits?”

“They are shits.” He whispered to himself. Clearing his throat, he spoke up. “Fascists. Nationalistic bigoted assholes. Kinda like you guys.”

Several surprised noises came from the crowd, as well as a hushed murmuring.

“This is just another lower life form attempting to take over our empire.” A voice came from one corner of the room.

“What makes me a lower life form? Or do you just claim that with any species you encounter that isn’t your own?”

“This human has a point. How can you prove the ranking of sentient species?” Another voice piped up from a different part of the room.

“Execute them.” The central representative requested.

Before any guards could move near them, Richie added “You have a room full of representatives from all these different species, but do you ever even listen to them? If they share an opinion you don’t like, you kill them. Sounds like you can’t handle criticism.” 

“How dare you! Execute the human as well.”

Richie stood his ground, frustrated and exhausted and willing to expend whatever he had left in him to talk his way out of this.

Though, he had already said a lot. Enough for the crowd to begin talking over each other. Multiple languages rang out through the room.

Even Eddie’s familiar voice joined in with several points.

The Reticulan in the center was ousted, made to sit off to the side. The crowd took a moment to deliberate who their new leader would be, and a multicolored, thinly built individual stepped up.

“Tozier. You have made many claims since arriving on this vessel. Your opinions gave us hope. Humans, as well as many other species, have been viewed as incompetent and of low level sentience. You have proven that incorrect. We will extend membership to Earth, and a permanent station for your Solar System.”

She called for Eddie to step forward, speaking to him in his own language.

“You and your mate may choose to stay where you like, together. You do still intend to become mates, correct?"

They both nodded.

“We have reform to attend to. You are dismissed.”

One of the guards unlocked the cuffs. Eddie took his wrists, examining them for damage while they walked.

He awkwardly pulled at the sheet on his body. It was still damp from laying in Eddie’s little pool. “Can we stop back at your room first? I’d like to wear something a little less revealing.”

Eddie turned away, but he caught a flash of his shifting pattern. “Of course.”

He smiled to himself.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i wrote this and it turned into a lot of worldbuilding so hope yall like intergalactic fascist regimes being torn down with Words of Facts and Logic  
> their wedding and wedding night is in part 3

**Author's Note:**

> Titles are from Mr. Spaceman from the Scooby Doo and The Alien Invaders Soundtrack.
> 
> Yes, Eddie resembles Squidward. Imagine him however you like. I was pretty ambiguous about his appearance except "sentient blue octopus-like cephalopod".
> 
> This idea came to me while I was watching alien hentai & I am only slightly sorry. I hope you enjoyed it! :)


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